2011 Journal Entries
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All external learning is transient.
Internal learning lasts throughout the whole journey.
Intuition is receiving an unexpected answer. 

Reflection 11-01
Love is a feeling throughout every molecule of your being. You have had mere glimpses of it up to now. How do you know you are on the right track – you feel it! What you feel is a grain of sand on the beach compared to all that Love is. Pure, unconditional, unchangeable love. Peel away the layers to feel it even more. 
In any situation forgive yourself and everyone involved. Each had their role to play in the lesson being learned. Feel love and compassion for yourself and then spread it to the other players. See the lesson in the situation, reap the wisdom and forgive all. You then move to a higher frequency of love and understanding. 
Set aside time everyday to meditate and connect with your guidance. Forget future and past and live in this moment by creating this moment. Focus on the love within you, radiating it outward at higher vibrations. Center your own energy and stop taking energy from others even in the most subtle and innocent of ways.

Reflection 11-02
I have experienced occasionally on my daily hike a sense of being expanded and my consciousness above and slightly behind me. Almost as though the body was a puppet, a mere hand of a more total being, having more patience, in fact an expression of universal love instead of patience. A sense that my total life was planned and directed on purpose to experience what I needed to experience about what love is. To acquire the necessary skills to read, learn and experience the returning to Divine Creation. To step by step in my very cells to know, to experience, to record discoveries about returning to Creation. To have an unconscious, almost unnoticed, letting go of some physical and emotional crutches. To accept, instead of doubt, all my intuitions and subtle senses. To understand the wisdom of the dream work. To know why I am here for Jeanne. Stepping slowly into the total reality of it all. The total perfection of it all. The "yes finally" of it all. Coming home!

In Meditation 11-03
I was lazy with sunlight, reclining in the grass, my hat covering my face. With such comfort, I began drifting off, to dream about things close to me. Relaxing more now I loose sense of sounds and the world around me but remain focused on the question. A question that is my boat to insight. 
As my mind empties and I float deeper and deeper I sense a warm white mist that covers the field of view of my closed eyes. Coming forward slightly out of the mist is a white hazy figure, draped in white. A woman I sense. Her head and shoulders are barely recognizable as a person. As you gaze downward from the head she becomes less distinct until at where her knees should be, she just blends in with the warm, white mist. Just floating there in front of me. 
With a friendly smile, she comes from home with a familiarity to remind me of what I had asked her to do. Now is when I need it. From inside of me comes the feeling of a request for her to show me all that love is. My need to know is deep and has long troubled me. 
She says that we have all been taught an illusion of love that serves the mortal needs of others without reflecting what is true in our soul. To know the Divine Creation is to know what creative expression truly means. It is not clear to me what this means at this point. I am expecting some emotional feeling to show me all that love is. 
In my confusion she drifts closer to me and merges with me. In that merging she turns around within me and faces outward with me. We are merged, two but one. I begin to see through her eyes. As I look outward I see white light all around us. But I only see it.
Then almost invisible rays of light radiate out from a point in front of me. The rays of light run right through me. I feel them, they are kinesthetic. I feel the light going into me and through me. I lose my attention, then regain it and a new wave front of light and love runs through me and my guide. 
In every direction I look the center of my focus has light radiating from it. It's love. No concepts, no physical, no words, just radiating from all points in all directions. Every molecule, every atom, every particle radiating out this white light of love. All overlapping each other and radiating in all directions at once. 
This is not a feeling of being cared for or in love. It is peace everywhere, a powerful light of love that is everywhere you look. There was nothing else in view, nothing else existed. 
There was no attachment but I just didn't want to leave. How can you describe this to others. My home was a softened world of this. As I floated in this I realized that as every particle "out there" was radiating this white light of love, every particle of me was also radiating this outward. I was awash in this sea of life as a fish living and breathing it. 
As I separated from my guide and began to drift back to the green grass I was reclining on I knew that in providing Sanctuary to each other, as I radiate this light of love to you, you begin to see it in yourself and then everywhere. To Honor this is to realize that this is truly your one true home, your place in this divine existence. The abundance of this eternal light of love is to understand that the more you radiate, the more there is radiating everywhere. It is endless creation.

Reflection 11-04
Simply defined, difficult to execute: 
We are all part of the Divine Creator.
Consciousness is your original mind state. 
Free will reflects the quality of your choices which depends on your level of awareness. 
Thought is creative, truly, in every sense of the word. 
Your conditioning is your only obstacle.

Reflection 11-05
Awareness is an expansion, first externally, then internally.
Intuition is a form of awareness internally where you receive an unexpected answer.
Empathy is a form of awareness where you realize and experience non-separation with another person.

Reflection 11-06
All anger ultimately is about not being able to attain, maintain or keep alive the love you want.
All fear is ultimately about a feeling of not being the glorious, divine being that you actually really are and thus being subject to the pain of duality.
All greed is about your feeling of being separate from your own creativity.
What if you lived the myth? What if all the myths are true? How do you balance the fragile mortality of life with the immortal, creative strength of the soul?
How do you break down and dissolve the barrier between this life and the immortal existence without dying? How do you embrace both at the same time? Or, are we basically just living in the illusion of our own choosing?

Reflection 11-07
What would teleportation truly be like, the destruction and reconstruction of you. Sort of like reincarnation perhaps. Your personal beingness is a Quantum wave complexity that is you. This is wave function that is you and is recorded and stored as an incredible amount of data. Huge orders of magnitude between the level of data of atoms and the infinitely smaller base Quantum mesh. In teleportation you are deconstructed at this point, i.e. destroyed. Then, somehow, transmit that stored wave function to a new location. You would then process (?) the wave function at the receiver location. This pops up a new you from the Quantum mesh using the store wave function. You reappear with the last thought now in you new mind that you had just before deconstruction. The point of all this techy mumbo jumbo is how would you know it's not the original you? Would it matter?
If the Quantum scale of things is mucho magnitudes below that of atoms, what if you are created moment to nano moment. That you are truly discontinuous at that tiny scale. This would easily fit into the Quantum scale of time and space. You would seem to continually exist at your perception level, about 60 frames per second. What if the Quantum ocean recreates you with time and space every 10 to the power of -40 seconds? I think that is a decimal point followed by 40 zeros and finally a 1. 
What if your body and matter are created nano Quantum moment to moment? But your consciousness is above that field and is continuous in the true sense?

Reflection 11-08
It has been a long journey learning and discovering the aspects of trust and forgiveness. For me, trust has been a test in trusting on an ever larger scale. Trust in family, in spouse, in self, in the world, in the Divine Plan. I have learned that trust is needed in order to live a life of love and light. With no trust, all becomes dark. I have also learned that trust in a person's inner goodness, inner light but know that their ego will lead them to poor choices. It's all good, each must find their way. A lack of trust breeds a need to know, a need to plan, to predict, to know what will happen next. True trust is trust in your self and the Divine Plan. Trust in yourself is knowing that you have a choice on how to respond to any circumstance. so you don't need to trust the circumstances to be in your favor. This is very important. As to the Divine Plan, let go and be in the Now. Choose how to respond as all unfolds. There is far more about All than I can imagine in this form, so i must adhere to Trust and Release – just let go. 
Forgiveness is all about letting go of expectation for things and people to be the way you want. Let them find their own way to the Creator. Forgiveness is knowing there is the Divine in all and that the story is more complex than you know. So in these times of transition, trust the process and the Divine Universe. Choose how to respond in the Love and Light. Forgive all who hinder that process, knowing that they only play their role in the drama.