2012 Journal Entries
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Grace is living within the truth, instead of outside of it

Reflection 12-01

Stick with tangible action and results. Serve others when asked but don't try to change anyone. The books I wrote were for me to make tangible what way is effective for me in learning how to live. Few others care about such things. Where circumstances are correct, present the material to someone but don't preach, teach or try to tell others to change their life. They each have their own path. It's enough for me to continue my practice to achieve the results of happiness, contentment, understanding, and patience. The world of the mind and subconscious are full of traps and dark holes. They cannot be depended upon. Continue with self hypnosis but accept what comes through as allegory from my "higher mind". Take away what is useful, what can be experienced in daily life and what feels right to me. Don't fall into the New Age fantasies and stories. Though interesting, they are a distraction just like acquired unusual skills. Be thankful for those close to you that ignore these skills, for these people keep you grounded with the unexceptionableness of it all. 

In Meditation 12-02
I called Serena to me. A white hazy figure, white on white, just head and shoulders dissolving into the background above the feet though fully draped. Warm, friendly, female – from home to bring familiarity to remind me. I asked her to do this when I needed it. 
She advised to return to forgiveness and therefore to the meaning of love. Not to be concerned, just complete the task by expressing again what eternal love is, in ways we can understand in this prison of the body. In truly knowing and feeling love in this duality, we come to know the Divine and what creative expression truly means. So the first tenuous test/experiment was successful. Someone did appear. My words were a translation of my friends feelings and knowing. I will continue to see how this develops.

Reflection 12-03
To know without objectifying the world, i.e. no avoidance nor attraction. Seeing what is, not the names and associations of objects. To simplify seeing, to release your seeing. Not interpreting,  not associating with your stories, and not as a projection of the ego. To see all and know that it is right.
To feel. Not your emotions, not the biochemical response, not the association of that response with your projection, and not to you primal emotive. To sense your essence and know that it is good.
To act without doing, from the moment, from the conditions at that time without attachment, without expectation, without reward, without praise to the ego, and without premeditation. To simply act in the aid and love of others, without judgement.

Reflection 12-04
Sitting in a coffee shop, listening in on conversations, sipping the java. As I contemplate the energy moving through the space, I take the opportunity to practice. I seek to recognize their innate goodness. I become unattached to their words, concepts, and beliefs. I create a non-controlling energy field of positive compassionate sanctuary. Smile and acknowledge the goodness, indicate the beauty and enjoy the moment. Just be without control, judgment or attachment.

Reflection 12-05
Compassionate Sanctuary – expressing universal love. To experience direct compassion. To move beyond compassion to the realization that there can be no separation. I see you and you see me, we are looking in a mirror at our one self. There is only one of us. To not feel love for the person in front of you is to deny yourself the love you seek. Forgive yourself and realize that in doing so you forgive others. Your right hand fumbles but your left hand does not. Yet they are connected. How can one be wrong and the other not. One makes an error from not understanding what is real. To build on this, find examples and ways to experience non-separation and show others how to also do this. Show how we can all be a sanctuary for others that are lost once we pass the gates of the ego and release our compassion.

Reflection 12-06
Honorable Presence – living in integrity, honesty and responsibility to myself. No deception. This is what I seek to do and be. I will be consistent in all circumstances. Strip away illusions and justifications for my present state of being. Experience fully being in the right now. Reality is not “out there”. Where does the fish end and the water begin? You are part of the ocean, part of reality, a facet of the reflected light. You have no more separation than the drop of water in the ocean. Express the integrity and honor of what is, what’s real. To discover the “what is” that exists beyond our normal sight, beyond out normal senses. To fully experience all, to peal away the layers of appearance and know without knowledge what it all is truly about.

Reflection 12-07
Detached Action – expressing the creativity of all. In your next moment, is your action creative or one of serving the ego? What is creativity in the moment, with connection and compassion? Creativity has always been incorrectly attached to an ego’s expression of self and the self’s world view. If there is only essence, connection and compassion, what do we create? To create is to express. But who is expressing and what is to be created? Beauty does not exist except in the mind and soul. In short, beauty transmutes into Harmony. If you want to express your essence, the task is to create while bypassing the ego. First we must establish a state where ego is minimized. Then express the universals, this eternal moment, this seamless connectivity, creation in a space where all creativity has always existed. 

Reflection 12-08
If women are granted to be the most emotional gender, then men are certainly the most passionate. That does not necessarily end in good deeds for all men. Witness the passion of war, destroying as well as the passion for building, protecting and the passion towards women. How can any of these happen without passion whether it be well directed or not? Such passions are powerful. Do we exercise them or them us? Men fear emotions but they quietly, in their solitude, bathe in passions. Yet passion is not emotion. Emotion pales in triviality in the presence of passions. Passion is an all consuming relevance of what is important to the core of your existence.

Reflection 12-09
All life is about is the constant attempts to attain love, the anger when it is lost, and the fear that we will never experience it again. 
We have been incorrectly told what love is until we really don’t know it. We have been lead down a path that heads towards ego gratification, instead of love. We seek to have others love us and solve our problems for us. 
To turn this around and place this seeking on a real path we must first learn to love ourselves. We do that by acknowledging the beauty of creation that we are a part of. We are already perfect, being part of a perfect universe. We may make errors in our choices but that is only because our understanding is incomplete and restrictive. We are all connected. The divine goodness in me sees that which is in you. I then realize that I am the source of love that I seek. My living in this world is an expression of this everyday and to some degree to everyone I meet. 
I am the source of what I seek. Love is not finite, but is an eternal resource. Love subsumes all of creation, every molecule and every atom.