2013 Journal Entries
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There is no power or powerlessness. 
There is only choice.
There are no flaws, all is as it is.
There is nothing missing in your life, 
    how could there be?
Words can form questions that are unreal.

Reflection 13-01
Thank you for the guidance. I find that it helps when I listen, attend to going with the direction of that Divine Wind that flows. A wonderful feeling of peace. Yet I don't know exactly where I am going. The ego brings with it grand plans, so seductive. Perhaps the plans are more externally simple but internally profound. It keeps coming back to learn, heal, and be of service. Learning is about realizing and reconnecting with All That Is. Healing is first healing ourselves, then the others, for others are ourselves. And it comes full circle with service. We learn for ourself and then we teach others. In teaching others, we learn yet more for they are simply a reflection of ourself. When we heal, we begin to heal others simply by our healing presence. And being of service is closing the circle, for there are no others in this space, only us, only me, only the One.
The learning is understanding. Nothing needed to be Controlled. Healing brings joy, peace and connection to other without Judging. Being of service is taking action without an ego or an "I" being present. 

Regression 13-02
So where does all of this leave us. The direct experience of past life, instead of the flashes that I have historically received, has changed my point of view. Those next steps would be to walk the path, to follow intuition, to stop trying so hard, and to know nothing needs doing. That all is as it should be and my ignorance is infinite. It's not required that I "graduate" in this life. That would be nice, but I am loved regardless. To remove separation in this instance, this moment, this now. We believe the physical world is real. In a collective sense, it is – in a universal sense, it isn't. It has been difficult to learn the plain fact that imagination, dreams, visions, sense, feeling and deep emotions are what is truly "real" in this life. But at higher levels, even these are an illusion. Every concept, every word, every thought, every perspective, every projection is an illusion. I am beginning to see how simply perfect that is but how can you teach that? When I mention to a seeker to dissolve the "I", they panic. I haven't told them that after dissolving the "I" comes dissolving the "Self". But one step at a time. I'm still sorting it out for myself. I still cling to it too.

Reflection 13-03
I learn the meaning of Forgiveness. To forgive my Mother through understanding and acceptance. Seeing the goodness inside. She provided and taught me strength, self reliance and protection. Forgiveness is seeing the innate goodness and knowing it is all OK and moving as it should be. I am here to observe and report that the human mission is to learn the fullness of forgiveness. I hear, I see, I feel and I absorb. I choose this personality because it facilitates my mission. Very simply defined, difficult to execute the plan. Though I am a teacher, I am not particularly here to teach at this time.

Reflection 13-04
Our gift to ourselves:
Sensing and feeling the space
    of Compassionate Sanctuary.
Connecting to the energy of our Essence.
Fully experience deep feelings.
Move towards Empathic Sublimation.
Holding that Sacred Space for others.
Feel Compassionate Unity.
Affirmation of all that is Good.
Reflection
The path from a logical mind
    to an intuitive mind.
From objective to subjective.
From concrete to ambiguous.
From knowing to understanding.
From proof to feelings.
From fact to probabilities.
Service and acceptance.
Gratitude and freedom.
Goodness and forgiveness.

Reflection 13-05
What to do? I keep coming back to the elemental search. I have tried to avoid it over the years and be a regular person... but. Something keeps calling me back to this path. My New Chivalry for Couples book brought that home again. I feel no different but I have come a long way and know it. In these moments I feel I have reached some "level", knowing there are many more levels to go.
What are my next steps? More and deeper meditations with concentrated focus and attention? Patience and understanding? Living in what's real? Being in touch with what's real in this life, what is an illusion, and what is real in the life beyond.

Reflection 13-06
Perhaps this reality that we perceive is a dream. Our suffering is mental and provides a learning for us. Our pain is physical and is what keeps us anchored to this illusion of a physical reality. What if this dream is a dense, low frequency, continuous illusion of our present "reality"? The what's real might be more aerial, high frequency and discontinuous.

Reflection 13-07
All that love is, is the only thing that matters. Be of service to others, help all to grow and work together toward building and creating a wonderful world. The thought of serving only yourself with total disregard toward others leads eventually to being the only one at the top and the rest are slaves. If only one survives, then none survive. The logic is irrefutable. How we delude ourselves.

Thought 13-08
We identify with our thoughts. Beyond our thoughts there is no suffering. There is only thought. Do not believe your thoughts, then you are always awake instead of following the illusion in your thoughts. When you suffer you are stuck in your thoughts. Offering all our thought, our thinking to the emptiness without any attachment is the highest offering. No need to get rid of thoughts, just detach from them, knowing they are our chains. 
All our fantasies, narratives, theories, ideas are nothing but resistance to things as they are. It is all simple, we make it complex. 
Ego is a mechanism to resist life as it is and to protect us from imagined fears. 

Reflection 13-09
In believing and knowing that I am part of the divine universe, it is only natural that there are gifts. Right now they are random events unless I slow down, center, focus and allow them to occur. There is much to give. To give is to share. We all have these gifts, we only need to realize this and practice letting them out. I simply notice and encourage them in me now. 
The gifts are first, compassion for all the goodness.  Also empathic connection, intuitive perception, desire to be of service, understanding through acceptance and awareness of the energy and manifestation of life force. It is only natural for these to flower in all of us. Be brave enough to stand in the truth of who you are!