2015 Journal Entries
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The progression of inner explorations:
"This can't be true. This can't be happening to me."
Acceptance. "Ok, now what do we do?"

In Meditation 15-01
Experienced one hour long self hypnosis, a "self progression". It was remarkable. First received vague images I could barely make out. Bright white, sort of under some trees, people around all doing various things. Then I moved to a distant future. Seemed at least 1000 years ahead. We were all living for each other, learning and exploring what God/The Universe had put in front of us. Not to make and sell things, just enjoying learning and exploring life, the universe, and each other. Moving out into the Universe to learn, meet new and fascinating events, taking care of each other first. It was white, golden, and soaring. Excitement and yet love of each other. A third travel was coming back to a near future. I was standing in the Santa Fe Plaza. I felt I was being filled with love for myself and thus love for all about. I felt myself full and over flowing with love and peace. I put out my hands and touched the hands of others, felt the love flow from me to them. Similar to a Reiki feeling. As I did they began to fill up with love and peace. Then they offered their hands to others and on and on. As we did so, we each began to expand outward and to lift off the ground until we were above the trees, all expanding with out stretched hands. As it continued you could see new folks glowing, expanding as they rose above the trees. I could see over the buildings and saw several blocks in all directions glowing individuals also rising above the buildings. We all were merging due to our expansion. And you could see more and more glows off in the distance. 
It was a glorious feeling, seeing love in yourself and then in others and then the exchange of self and others. Our physicality, I felt, was still on the ground but we were all connected as we expanded above the trees. 
My driving feeling was to write this down after the meditation. In this meditation I was extremely deep, deeper than in years. Yet still totally focused on the guiding self hypnosis voice and my indigo visualization and letting go so the images could arrive intuitively.

In Meditation 15-02
Third Eye Meditation. One hour. Attempting to intensify this experience, bring it forward consciously, and expand it into the perception phase. It was a little slow at first, waiting and not forcing it to come. Then remembering to "call it forward" and "wait assuredly" for its arrival. It worked. I was just starting to expand it into perception but still much work work and learning to be done here. 
I have always had the "Indigo" experience after "dropping the curtain" of inner optical vision. You do this so you are not looking at light and dark through your eyes with eyes closed. Instead, you are perceiving dark and colors from some inner source. You focus on the area between your eye brows. Will do this meditation more and expand perception. Can you call forward the Indigo with eyes open?

In Meditation 15-03
Found I must be very relaxed, mind open, detached, and allowing but not grasping. The the Indigo color comes forth. A balance between asking, allowing, and non attachment. More practice needed. But also must meditate on non-attachment, acceptance, illusions, and contentment. I must consider "who is asking the questions". Who is seeking, who is angry or happy?

Reflection 15-04
There is so much beyond our awareness and understanding. But yet, we start from where we stand and move forward to understanding the segment of road on which we stand. It's all we can do. There will be more road next time, just do the work now.  

In Meditation 15-05
Large rough wooden door that opens to a very large, high ceiling room. It's almost Romanesque but deep blue walls, white marble floors, columns and a large fire place. There was a large table in the center of the room with a large, old wooden box in the middle. The box had brass hinges, dark wood, maybe 2 by 1 by 1 feet in size. Not far away were two wing back chairs of honey colored soft leather facing each other maybe 2 feet apart. To the side of them is a large marble fire place, large fire very quietly burning. There were many small versions of the large wooden box on the mantle. To each side of the fireplace is a floor to ceiling window 4 or 5 feet wide. Outside it is a night landscape lit by a full moon and a sky full of stars, yet the moon does not diminish the stars brightness or the blackness of the sky color. 
The Guide goes through many transitions as he arrives, male/female, various animals, various cultures, and various non-earthly forms. Finally, it assumes a definite male essence, the older/ancient male, then a cross between a southwest Native American and an asian lone monk, wanderer. They blend into one. Then Serena floats in. I was meditating to connect with one guide, yet she arrives also, each of them holding one of my hands. Serving two purposes to teach me something important. Realizing and connecting upward to all AND realizing and connecting downward to all. I ask for assistance, realization and instruction to connect upward and the tools to help others realize their inner goodness and connection. The male figure was there for the realization upwards. Serena was there for the essence of love to those here and now.
During the past two meditations, when the white light comes down from above, it has been the white, flowing, sheer drapery that flows around Serena. The white light becomes the drapery. It flows and ripples and billows as if in a gentle breeze. I don't see her but feel it is her. Her white light covering and protecting me head to foot. I like it. It's a way to reconnect with her each time. I will pay more attention to it from now on.

Reflection 15-06
I had meditated for 30 minutes, then rested and finally napped for 60 minutes. For quite some time I felt still in the "zone". I worked at my desk. Jeanne came in and sat in the recliner chair and quietly rested. I guess I was in an emphatic state. I heard her thoughts as though they were my own. I spoke those thoughts back to her and she stared at me and asked if I was doing my "voodoo" again. "Why", I asked. Because, she says, "Those were my exact thoughts just now." I joked around to help disperse the mystery. 
I feel with the understanding and attempts to live the connection and forgiveness that my intuitive sense is getting stronger and the empathic is becoming more clearly defined. What is empathy but being that other person, living in their skin – connection.  

Reflection 15-07
If you seek love, then embrace the humor of life and learning, the humor of our illusions. The ability to laugh at your own delusions and laugh with others about how we are all alike in our misperceptions.
If you seek safety, then embrace all creation. You will die some day, there are no assurances. Safety is relative and always in flux. Live with the knowledge that a need for safety is ultimately a fear of death. 
If you seek trust, then embrace acceptance. Accept the world and universe and others as they are. Loosen you illusion of a control to shape the world to the needs of the ego. The body will die and the ego will die moments before you. Let go and live now. Illuminate your own darkness and leave the light on in the for others entering.