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Memory is a poor library. People, places, and things evolve over the years as they rest in that nebulous reflection of what you really experienced. Good becomes bad and bad becomes good. This makes it difficult to reflect on and view what you really have learned about your external objective world.
When we explore the inner subjective world we need a more concrete way of storing our experience. Many years ago I turned to journaling to quickly record what I experienced and what I learned from my inner explorations. There they were on the journal page in their raw original written form. I could not dress them up or tone them down without violating my promise to myself to record whatever occurred without editing. This was important because my inner experiences and learning were coming from meditation, hypnosis, and lucid dreaming which are even more difficult to remember. After some years I started to see threads and ongoing revelations develop. I promised to keep my mind open and just follow wherever the internal perceptions lead me. Some were dead ends or just momentary threads, but other were strong and repeating. The challenge was that whatever showed up, no matter how distant from my "usual world" or how unbelievable compared to my normal daily world should be included in my journal without trying to "normalize" it. Then, around 2009, I realized that there was a narrative, a story occurring in the journals. There was more there than expected and much more depth of learning to be had. So as you read, keep in mind that these journal entries are rough and unedited. Thus I left in grammar mistakes and the lack of polish. Sometimes it is a little loose and dangling. It's the original raw thoughts and words right on the paper from the fountain pen.
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